SS-INTROSPECT #24 NO TURNS LEFT TOO PLACE
No day is an easy day when attempting to move forward. Some days the task at hand might come with certain comforts . Comforts usually based in your strengths and familiarity. Comforts that do not prey on your weaknesses. But to move forward every day will come with a heavy challenge. The down side is that with so many fast food temptations and porn hub revelations personal growth just seems out the question. I mean we all have to maintain our livelihood right? We can’t dive into our inner self after 9 hrs at the job. Two hours of travel and dressing/undressing. A hour of food preparation . Two hour of decompression and a hour of masturbation. The hour of masturbation robs us of two hours of personal productivity in itself. Three gone just like that.Just from using our hands, a cylinder shaped tool, or another person’s body. I myself could remember a time I would work 10 hrs a day. Still have all the transitions above and use somebodies vagina and mouth for my dick-torial pleasures. I would then have to fight for sleep just to do it all over again the next day. At the end of my month I sat and wondered aloud. Hmmmm now why couldn’t I complete anything outside of sustaining necessity ? Why did a project I planned to finish in ten months take 3 years?
Well it all starts with priorities. With a clear set value system, you’re not at risk of sinking back into old habits. Some fall not because you lack talent or purpose ,but because time is finite. It feels infinite in the moment. “I’ll just watch this movie today and start tomo.” Says the stay-at-home mom. “I’ll just smoke and play the game today. Write my songs in the morning.” Says the underground artist. “I’ll just drop dick tonight and work on the products this weekend. “ says the UP and CUMMING entrepreneur . The truth is you need structure your life and in your vision for better. Something intangible and unbreakable underlining your quest. Without it no fruit will bear on your tree. Daily you must rise to the challenge of manifesting something tangible. Even if your starving yourself , each one should be a symbol of your inner greatness. Through the high moments of joy and resilience… manifest . Through the low moments of stress and frustration… manifest. Through the endearment given by those who appreciate you… manifest. Through the hate of those who don’t understand you…. Manifest. Pour into your God given talents and purpose religiously. Obsessively. Manically . Only then can you begin to shine like the sun through the clouds of despair. For me some days are easier than others. My foundation is in God and you best believe he has not made it easy for me. Even now while writing this I’ve been sleeping in my car for 5 weeks. Walmart parking lots , driving doordash all day , and my restroom is a bottle. All this because I feel my purpose is to help others grow and I chose to walk the straight and narrow so I wouldn’t be a fake example. I’ve had to post completely on my cellphone since my laptop went down . I can’t even work on the thing that brings me a new found joy which is positive-focused music. But through it all here I am still writing , still grinding, still
Focused. After Multiple people spoken too and over 75 doors with tangible copies of my newsletter left, not a single sale. Have I seen a break through yet to get me out the parking lot and in a bed. Noooooo. Have I returned back to my old habits of smoking and fucking to make me feel better. Absolutely not. Remember I told you . You need something intangible and unbreakable as your underlining factor. Something that prioritizes your purpose . Mines is God and yours can be too. But you have to feel it whole heartedly if you want to stand on business over all else. So stop dick pulling , Cochie scratching , and sobriety depriving time wasting. Save those things as a celebration instead of daily desperation if that’s your thing . Prioritize purpose over all else.